Text message scam or sick joke? Who is behind that number?

Episode 27:

Would your kid know how to recognize a text message scam? Would they give out personal info without a second thought?  This episode is an account of an incident that happened to my family, and the implications we all need to know, when giving our kids a phone, even if just simply with the capability to call and text. 

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Help ensure the safety and normal childhood development of your child by grabbing the newest version of the GABB Wireless phone at THIS LINK or go to https://www.gabbwireless.com/promo/bethatmom and use code BETHATMOM for $10 off!! 

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Other options if you are considering a first phone (or need to backtrack on this decision):

• Relay go device can be found HERE
• Gizmo Watch can be found HERE

(A few of the above links are affiliate links that I may receive commission from at no extra cost to you! Your support is greatly appreciated!)

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Be THAT Fit Mom!! Simplify your fitness/nutrition routine! Join me in the Align Your Life Fit Club! More info can be found at https://www.dollydenson.com/fitclub or at https://www.dollydenson.com/muscleburnsfat for the newest program I am doing. 

Listen to it now here or click HERE for your favorite podcast platform!

Full Transcription: 

Speaker 1: (00:00)
Hey, Hey, how are you here? We are for another episode. And today I'm going to talk about something that has been kind of like wildly weird in my world. I don't know if there's been a sick joke, played on us, or, you know, someone's sitting back laughing at us right now. Or if this is just one of those instances where things happen for you, not to you and that it was something that needed to happen so that I could bring this message to you to help protect our kids even more. Okay. So stay tuned.

Speaker 2: (00:29)
Welcome to your source for tips, tools, and support to help you be that mom that is tuned in and proactive for yourself, your family, and for the wild ride of raising kids in this digital age, inspired by a mother's love with a relatable real life. Proud to be that mom flair. This is the be that mom movement with your host, Dolly Denson.

Speaker 1: (00:53)
Hey friends, did you hear there is an app that will transform the safety of your kids, smartphone and technology use. It is my favorite way to sleep easy at night and have peace of mind because it is monitoring my kids' activity online without me being in their business. It is the bark app and yes, bark like a dog bark bark bark. It tells you when there's something that you need to be concerned about starting at a small fee each month, you can protect your whole family across all devices. Get connected with bark today. Use code, beat out mom for 20% off your subscription for life and get a seven day free trial to check it out. Okay. So before we get started, I just have to tell you about this. So if you've listened from the beginning of my podcast, when I first started publishing, you may remember this, but I do most of the recording for this podcast in my closet.

Speaker 1: (01:40)
And I have to time it just right when I'm recording because our utility room is right next to our closet. So if the washer and dryer are going, then sometimes you can hear that on this recording, like this Mike that I use, it's a Yeti mic. It picks up all of the sounds. The other thing is that if the whole family is up there often active and it picks all of those things up. And then on top of that, all of us do our own laundry. Me and my husband do our own. And then the kids each do their own. They're old enough to do that. And so sometimes it's like the washer and dryer are going all of the time. So I have to time this just right. And today I plan on recording this morning and then I just kinda got wrapped up in a bunch of things, kind of trying to get myself organized around everything that I'm doing and never really got into it.

Speaker 1: (02:31)
Then it got to be lunchtime. My mom was bringing lunch to us and before you know, it, it is like six o'clock, but it's grand central station here. And I joke with my oldest daughter, she works from home and we've joked and said that we need a, she shed. We live in a house that, you know, not super small, but not super huge either. And we don't have a lot of extra space, our office that we have our desks in my husband and I, we share that room and his style of how he works is usually with the TV on. And I'm more the type of person that needs quiet, or I'm listening to some type of motivating music as I'm working or concentrating on something. So we joke that we need a shisha and that always makes me laugh because of that commercial. I don't know if you've seen it where it's like insurance or something and the lady she shed is on fire.

Speaker 1: (03:18)
You know how the guys have a man cave? Well, it's the girls, the ladies she shed and I'm like, I need a she shed so I can do my podcast recording and concentrate. So I was just laughing as I came to sit down and do this. Cause I'm like, okay, I'm going to record the Vinny of y'all have, uh, connections to get me a, she shed, let me know, because I definitely could use one. It would help me get out more podcasts because a lot of times I'm ready to record something and then I can't get a quiet space. So anyways, let's get to the topic at hand. Okay. So this wildly weird incident that happened to us, my own family in the last couple of days, I want to share it with you because I want to talk about the implications of it and how if it had happened to an unsuitable affecting child who is walking around with a phone, you know, all kinds of different scenarios.

Speaker 1: (04:05)
This could have been different and it could have turned out very, very differently. So a couple of days ago I received a phone call on my cell phone. That was an unknown, or was a number I wasn't familiar with. And so I didn't know the number. I let it ring and go to voicemail right after they left a voicemail, they texted me and they addressed the text to my oldest daughter. And they said that they were my niece and they use her first and last name. So I responded and said, Hey, this is aunt Ollie. And do you want me to give you your cousins number and said, did you get a new number? And she said, yes, I got a new number and yes, please give me her number. So I gave her her number and then she proceeded to ask, Oh, and can you also give me, and then asks about one of my other daughter's friends who I'm not sure they even know each other in real life asked for her number too.

Speaker 1: (05:01)
So I thought, well, that's odd. Why would she be asking for her number? So I went and listened to the voicemail in right away. Instantly knew that something was off that this was not right. So it was, the voicemail was saying that she was my niece, except she sounded nothing like my niece and then said something that wasn't really decipherable, like is kinda muffled. So I couldn't understand what she had said, but she did clearly say that she was my niece. So I texted her sister and said, Hey, did she get a new number? And she says, no. And she sends me the number that I already had programmed in my phone. So I had already sent this person, my oldest daughter's phone number. So I texted my oldest daughter. She wasn't home yet. And I told her, don't respond. If you get a phone call or a text from this number, there is something fishy going on.

Speaker 1: (05:48)
And she says, okay, that's weird. Okay. So fast forward to the next morning and this same number, text me still seeing that she's my niece. And, and it could have been a guy doing it too. I have no idea. But seeing that she is my niece and asking again for the friend's phone number at the same time, this same number is texting my daughter, who is in the same house as me saying that she is this friend texting my daughter. And she sends a photo-shopped screenshot of some of her pictures on her Instagram feed. So my daughter came to me and was like, so this number is texting me now. And they are saying, you know, she is so and so, so I was like, okay, something's up? So my husband tried calling the number of course gets no answer. So I texted back and said, I know you are not and said my niece's name.

Speaker 1: (06:38)
And I know you are not instead. The other person's name that she was claiming to be. So who are you? What is it that you want? Why do you keep texting me? And then the person responded and said, it's. And she named a mutual friend of my oldest daughter and my niece. Well, problem with that is the person misspelled, this girl's name, her last name. And my daughter instantly noticed that and said they misspelled the last name. So I told the person texting, you're not her either because you just misspelled her last name. So who is this? And what do you want? And the person responded. I'm just lonely because, and then nothing else hasn't responded to anything else. So if you've listened to my other episode or my episode about grooming a couple episodes back, or any of these other episodes, there are several red flags here that went up right away.

Speaker 1: (07:27)
And it initially slipped by me because I just assumed that my niece had gotten a new number. I didn't verify it. And I went ahead and sent out information to this number for my oldest daughter. So the implications of this are that anyone can say they are anyone else when they are behind a phone number or when they are behind a social media account, this is absolutely what we need to be educating our children on. It is absolutely. Why are children at young ages do not need to be walking around with a phone. It is absolutely why when they get their first phone, it should be something like a gab wireless phone. Cut. I so wish I would have had the option of a gab wireless phone. When my kids were younger. When we give them a smartphone, it needs to have screen time for whatever type of device it is.

Speaker 1: (08:17)
It may be called something different if you have an Android, but for I-phones, it has called a family screen time, something like that. And you can set it up to where they can't access certs, certain sites. They can't access numbers that aren't in the contacts. Only these certain contacts can contact them, those types of things. So there's several things that you can set up in the phone for limitations on this. And then on top of that, um, they need to have bark or something similar, layered on top of that to monitor conversations, to alert you of things going on in conversations and the activity on the phone. Of course, I've never found anything that is more robust than bark. You know, that if you've been listening to my podcast, but you know, if you need to compare options and look at other things, there are a few other things you could check out.

Speaker 1: (09:01)
But I do think that bark is absolutely the best, even on an Apple device, because of all of the power they have behind what they do and their followup system. If they do find anything of concern, they will check in with you and make sure that, you know, it's been addressed or whatever. And then this is absolutely why we need to have conversations with our kids. We need to be letting them know that anyone can claim there, anybody behind that number behind that social media account, you know, just let them know that you have to have a cautious eye with this. And this is also how cyber bullying happens. You know, it's the mean girl or mean boy, hiding behind a screen, hiding behind a phone, sitting in their house. I'm sending out this information and no one knows who it is. So I still have not figured out who this person was, what their intentions are.

Speaker 1: (09:48)
I don't know if it's someone that we know and they're just playing a sick joke on us. I don't know if you know, it is some type of predator. If it is actually a friend of theirs, because this person does seem to know several of the people that they know, they know last names, they know details, um, you know, from years ago. So I've heard of instances where they have had like a family in Houston. The child was abducted after meeting up with an old high school acquaintance. And it was actually that acquaintance, but she lured her over time to meet her in person and then had it set up to where she was abducted from there. And she was paid to bring people to those people. So this stuff absolutely does happen in our world, in our neighborhoods, in our cities, in our country and you know, multiple other countries.

Speaker 1: (10:35)
So this is what we need to focus on. I have sat back and thought about this and been like, Oh my God, what if, what if this had been my girls first that they were contacting? And you know, they innocently just shared phone numbers. What if this person is contacting younger children that have phone numbers and giving it out to other people? What if this person is contacting these unsuspecting child striking up a conversation and starting the whole grooming process of gaining trust of isolating them from their family of coercion and, you know, extortion or sexual exploitation, all of the things that can go down. So, so easily on an unsuspecting child. So I hope that this has made sense to you and I didn't lose you in the whole story about what had happened, but this is what I've been talking about. And, you know, I've said it before in other episodes that sometimes I feel like things happen for us and not to us.

Speaker 1: (11:29)
And when this all happened, I was like, Oh my God. So read the word on this and let everybody know that this is happening. And if you absolutely have to give your kid a phone, put the safeguards on, choose the gab wireless. If they're young, young, young, and you just need a way to track them and keep in touch with them, look at the gizmo, watch, look at the new gab wireless watch that's coming out. Then go to the gab wireless phone, then go to an Android, preferably an Apple, but whichever way you do it, put bark on it, puts the Screentime things on it and have a conversation with your kid and take that phone up at night, set boundaries, set rules on how you're going to manage it, because it is absolutely something that your child cannot handle on their own. Whether you think they're a good kid, whether you have had a great relationship up until now, when you put a device in their hands, things change.

Speaker 1: (12:16)
Trust me on that. Okay. I'm sure several of you can tell me kind of, um, you know, horror stories on what has been going on in the last couple of months with your kiddo, because we've had so much extra time on devices and at home and isolated from our friends and all of that stuff. But the takeaway from this that I want you to take today is have a conversation with your kid and make adjustments on whatever your situation is, to where you are aware of what phone calls are coming in and out who they're talking to. And, you know, just have some sort of ways to kind of monitor that and regulate that outside of just having to check it because you know, you get busy, the kid gets busy and you forget for a couple of days and you can miss something. Okay?

Speaker 1: (12:56)
So I hope this was helpful for you. And I will chat with you next time either before you go, I want to just give you a heads up on something. When things have been hardest in my role as a mom, the thing that was so very helpful for me was having a routine to take care of myself each day. I know that this whole thing around raising kids in a digital world is so very overwhelming. But if you have a place where you are taking care of yourself every single day with a simple routine that works despite where you are or what your schedule is, you will be able to be more present for your family and handle all of the ups and downs of this most amazing role that we could ever play in this world. So connect with me and let's get you connected to fitness and nutrition tools made by experts that will help you simplify this and then connect you with my fit club community that will support you, guide you and give you momentum and motivation to show up everyday, take care of yourself first so that you could be better present for our digital native kids.

Speaker 2: (14:01)
Thanks for tuning in being that mom isn't easy, but together we can be that mom strong. Don't forget to leave a review, connect on social and join Dolly's free community till next