Overwhelmed as a mom in 2020? Strategies to help you today!

Episode 31:

Overwhelm in 2020 and in our role as a parent in the digital age, are pretty much a given, right? Well I'm here to say it doesn't have to be, if you apply these strategies each day to tame this wild ride for good!

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FULL TRANSCRIPTION:

Speaker 1: (00:00)
Hey, Hey, here we are, again, for another episode, I'm coming to you straight from my closet. And in case you're wondering it is a big walk in closet. So it's not like I'm sitting in a tiny little thing, but today we're going to talk about overwhelm overwhelm for you as the mom. Like you're probably overwhelmed with my episodes and the things that I share, because it's just so much that we have to keep track of and you know, all of the things around that, but then also overwhelmed with our jobs, with our lives, with all the things going on with the political things in the world and just all of the scenes like seriously, do you feel overwhelmed too? I most definitely do. It is, uh, something that I wrestle with every single day. So this episode, I'm just going to talk about a few things that I do a few tips I have for you in regards to overwhelm. And hopefully this will help you to wrestle a little bit for yourself too, cause it definitely brings me some peace of mind. So stay tuned.

Speaker 2: (00:58)
Welcome to your source for tips, tools, and support to help you be that mom that is tuned in and proactive for yourself, your family, and for the wild ride of raising kids in this digital age, inspired by a mother's love with a relatable real life. Proud to be that mom flair. This is the bead that mom movement with your host Dolly Denson.

Speaker 1: (01:22)
Alrighty, so let's get started today with the episode. We're going to talk about overwhelm and how we wrestle it in today's day and age right now in the midst of a U S election coming up. If you're in the U S in the midst of a worldwide pandemic that has so much controversy, so much misinformation, but so much realness to the danger of the virus at the same time and us wrestling, all the digital things, our kids are on the digital, everything more because of the way our school is right now. And just all of it like, have you just like thrown your hands up and been like, Oh my God, how in the world do I deal with all of this? It seriously, it can be so overwhelming. And so let's talk about this today. The first thing that I want to tell you, the first thing that I do is I set up boundaries for myself on what information is allowed into my realm of thinking each day.

Speaker 1: (02:20)
That means I start out my day by trying not to pick up my phone and look at the latest post on social media, by, uh, being intentional about sitting down and trying to do some sort of reading or mindset, listening, meditation, reflection, something where I am building my mind up. I'm thinking about my goals, my plans for the day and how I want to show up into the world in a positive mindset versus a negative mindset. This is exactly the opposite of the way I used to be. A few years ago, I was negative, negative, negative. I actually had someone tell me you were always negative. You're always complaining. You're always talking about the bad things about it, everything. And that was a wake up call for me that I didn't even realize it, but I also didn't realize the power of those words, the things that I said and did and how much you can change your life by changing how you wake up and what you do at the beginning of the day.

Speaker 1: (03:23)
This applies to the end of the day too, because it's when we leap that our mind processes, all the things that we were so busy with during the day. So if you can be intentional about how you wake up and how you sleep, right, that will make a huge difference. The other thing that goes along with this is just putting up boundaries around what things are allowed to affect you in relation to like what you look at online, what you look at on social media. When I opened up Facebook today, the first post that popped up for me was a post from someone that I'm friends with said that she feels like she's conflicted between stuff using people or unfriending them because she couldn't take looking at the political things, the argument, the controversy, all of the different things. She said, I, my life is busy and I have a lot that I'm dealing with and I just can't take it getting on here.

Speaker 1: (04:16)
She said, I have my own opinion, and I can see that others have their own opinion. And I respect that, but I can't take the arguing constantly and the people insulting other people. And so I don't know if I should, um, snooze people if I should unfriend them or if I should just get off Facebook altogether. And that is the part of social media and all of our interconnectedness. Yes, that is harming us because we're allowing that in. And so I'm very intentional about when I look at the newsfeed, at least I try to be, sometimes I get distracted and I go down a rabbit hole, but I'm intentional about when I look at the newsfeed, if I do, sometimes I just go on Facebook, specifically, look at the groups that I follow and the groups that I have, like my be that mom movement group is on Facebook.

Speaker 1: (05:05)
And then I have a group that is for my wellness coaching fit club clients. I have another one that is for my coach teammates that, you know, we're also helping their own group of clients with their fitness and nutrition journeys. So I have groups, I also have some, um, like mom groups and different things that all go into when I get on Facebook. So sometimes I just focus on going to those groups and if it group that's too negative and attacking people, then I may get out of that too. That's all. So why I formed my be that mom group, because it is a safe space for people to come. I am the admin of that group, and I will not allow anybody to come in there and insult each other and, you know, um, be like shameful of anyone making a post about anything, because I always see that on Facebook that I'll go into this huge mom group that has thousands and thousands of, and someone will start their post with a no judgment, please.

Speaker 1: (06:01)
I'm like, why should we even have to put that? We shouldn't be judging other people, but you know, when I had all of this stuff happening with my kids and realizing that I wasn't being proactive enough in the space of, you know, the digital stuff and social media and phones and all of the things, that's the thing that I thought was I felt shame for myself that I didn't know better. I felt shame and didn't want to share it with anybody because I thought I was the only one. And it was when I went on social media and was like, Hey, like I have this going on. I was afraid to be that mom for my kid, but please be that mom for your kid. And that's when people came out of the woodwork and were like, Hey, and a lot of them didn't need a lot of them commented, but a lot of them didn't comment.

Speaker 1: (06:45)
They only messaged me because they were afraid to go on, um, anywhere, publicly and say anything because they were ashamed of what was going on in their life with their kid or just trying to protect their kids' privacy. But my point is that, um, we should need, we need to stop all the judgment and stuff, but, um, you can't control what other people do, but we can control what we do. And so that's why I set up boundaries for that. And I consider that a form of self care. I also shut off like notifications on my phone for news apps. I don't have hardly any news apps on my phone, but I shut off the notifications because I don't want that intrusion into whatever I'm doing during the day where a pop up, um, you know, pops up on my phone, telling me such and such happened.

Speaker 1: (07:31)
And it upsets me. It gets to me it's, you know, or I get curious and I get distracted and I start reading that and, you know, then it just totally gets me off track for my day. So definitely set up boundaries or boundaries around that in what you consume and allow what you allow to come to you. The other thing is if you see something on social media, I recommend, if it's not something you agree with, just scroll past it. Like, I see so many people stopping and arguing about things, but we all have the right to our own opinion. And, you know, we just need to stop this argument and this judging with each other, uh, it's just, it's disturbing and it's disruptive and it's making us to where we're all pitted against each other. And if you look at that movie that I mentioned, I don't know if I mentioned it in an episode recently, but it's called the social dilemma.

Speaker 1: (08:21)
I believe it's on Netflix. And, uh, it, they say in there that the ones that founded Facebook and some of these other things that they never anticipated, that they would create the volatility that they're creating now, between people that they simply created them initially with the vision of helping people connect with their family and friends. So to me, going on social media, if there are things that are upsetting you, and, you know, if we're seeing things that are disturbing and we're consistently seeing them, then we need to like snooze the people. So we don't see their stuff, or just cut it off. Like if they're not someone that you're going to spend your day to day life with, then, you know, just don't have contact with them. That's the point of the apps is for connect with family and friends. And then if you choose to connect with other people on there, you know, or the different companies that advertise and connect with you with their mission and their gifts and all of that stuff.

Speaker 1: (09:16)
So that's the next thing that I would do. And then other things I would consider if you've listened to my episodes for very long, you've heard me say this, but you know, I'm a nurse practitioner. I'm very passionate about health and wellness. And to me, it is like the single most powerful thing you can do to control what you do every day, as far as taking care of your body. I see every single day that I work in my nurse practitioner, job, people that never learned how to do this because this space is so fuzzy and there's so much misinformation that we don't know what to believe. We've also been led to believe that it will be easy. And so we look for the thing that's like simple and quick when the ultimate goal should be our health and our longevity and how we are taking care of ourselves for the long haul to, you know, create health for ourselves and for our family.

Speaker 1: (10:11)
So if you're feeling overwhelmed, I know that it sounds kind of like counterintuitive adding in like working out and focusing on like meal prepping and planning out your food and things like that. It sounds like, you know, you're like, you're probably sitting there saying Dolly, I don't have time for that. There's so many other things going on, but sitting on the other side of figuring this out and for it being five years since I started to change these daily habits that I do, when I finally found a method that worked and fit into my life and was flexible for all of my traveling and my busy-ness and all of the things that I had going on, it's been five years of doing it. And now I'm sitting on the other side of it. And I can tell you that when you kind of like, it's kind of like when you have a puzzle piece that just won't fit, no matter how, what direction you put it in, but when you figure this out, just learning how, how to exercise and to eat without deprivation, just with nutrition in mind.

Speaker 1: (11:18)
And, you know, just prioritize that every day. And it becomes kind of like a lifestyle. It makes like the other puzzle pieces of life fit together. Be easier. I know it sounds crazy if you've never done this, but it's basically just like, it helps kind of like, um, right. A ship or I don't even know what other analogy to use, but it's basically, like they say a pilot, if they go like one degree off course that when they S they flown for so long, like if they go from Europe to the United States that they'll eventually end up in an entirely different place. So that's kind of what, when you, um, aren't prioritizing exercising your body and your mind, and you know, all of the things and then giving your body the food, the nutrition that it needs to function, that you end up getting more and more and more and more off course.

Speaker 1: (12:12)
And so if you can kind of like write your path with that, then it's easier to handle the other things. And I can tell you, like I've said in some other episodes that with having that foundation for myself, having those habits every day that I took care of myself and, you know, just did those things that were like mine. You know, kids can very easily creep into all of the things that we're doing just by the nature of being a mom and a child. But those were my, that was my space that no one could touch. And over the years, my kids have learned that that's my time. And I do that. Non-negotiable every day, you know, I have my schedule and I do that. So having that was such a foundation for me, when things got difficult and hard to navigate with raising the kids and all the digital things that we've had in the last year or two, also that helped me through hard times through my marriage.

Speaker 1: (13:13)
It helped me through hard times with my nurse practitioner job, with the things going on with this pandemic, with, you know, the challenges of managing the different things that I'm involved in, because I've had that foundation of fitness and nutrition and just my overall health and strength for myself, even though I'm not perfect, even though I love to eat candy and ice cream, and I still indulge in those things, but I never look at it as me being on a diet. It's just a lifestyle, even though I'm, you know, I'm not perfect in any of it, just having that foundation helps me with the overwhelm of the other things. And then the last thing that I want to say is just, um, besides all of those things, having those ways that you approach your day every day, my soul CBD is one way that I help with anxiety and sleep, um, CBD.

Speaker 1: (14:05)
If you're not familiar with it, go to my soul cbd.com. They have an educational area for I'm learning more about CBD, but this company that I'm mentioning my soul CBD, they actually have THC free and it's us sourced. And it has third party testing to make sure that it is of the quality that they are saying that it has. And it helps with chronic pain with anxiety and with sleep. So I highly recommend that you check it out. If you are on any medications or have any medical conditions, certainly consult with your doctor before using it, it is pretty much safe with most things, but I never want to give you advice over the advice of your doctor, if you're on any medications and being treated for. So, um, check it out. And I have my code be that mom will give you a discount if you want to use that, or I'll drop the links in the show notes, but basically overwhelm is kind of here to stay for all of us right now.

Speaker 1: (15:04)
But if you can try to focus on these things, I think it can help you so so much. And like I've mentioned in other episodes, I have tools and a community to help support you in relation to your fitness and nutrition journey. And as far as like the meditation and the morning routine, they just added a new program into the library of tools that is all about meditation. And it's like 10 minute meditations. They're basically just helping you to kind of slow down your mind and focus so that, you know, you can feel kind of an inner peace. It's not so much like a religious or spiritual type meditation. It's just a way for you to kind of start out your day by clearing your mind and, you know, sitting in stillness that is so hard for me to do, but they just added that to the tools with the fitness and nutrition stuff.

Speaker 1: (15:56)
It is absolutely top line stuff. And then I add on that. So like technical top line stuff, but then I add on my support community, which is just other women and a few men, but mostly women that we are just focusing on using these tools and supporting each other through all the craziness that's going on right now. And I hate to say it, but there's lots of craziness going on right now, but that is the norm with life. When there's not this going on, there's going to be something else going on. But if you have something to use, it's flexible no matter where you're located, no matter, you know, the little or most time that you have something that's affordable and all of that, it's definitely something that you could utilize. Now, if you are listening to this and you want more information about that, I will drop a link in the show notes for you to check it out or email [email protected].

Speaker 1: (16:47)
It is not available worldwide. It is available in the U S Canada, the UK and France, but connect with me if you are in any other location and I can help connect you with more tools, but if you need any information about digital age parenting, all of that stuff, I have it on my website as well. So check out the show notes, um, for the links for that. Thanks so much for tuning into this episode. I just wanted to give you as the mom, some tools to help you with the day to day overwhelmed. So I hope that you've found this helpful and I'll chat with you next time.

Speaker 2: (17:17)
Thanks for tuning in being that mom isn't easy, but together we can be that mom's strong. Don't forget to leave a review, connect on social and join Dolly's free community till next time.