Ditch mom overwhelm with these simple start today tips!

Episode 75:

Overwhelm is probably every mom's middle name, especially now trying to raise kids with all the digital things. These tips will help you ditch that for good! 

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Mom Wellness recommended tips/tools:

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Listen to it now here or click HERE for your favorite podcast platform! 

Full Transcription:

Speaker 1 (00:00):

Overwhelm is probably every mom's middle name, right? Especially now, if you're listening to this in real time, when we are getting ready to go into a new school year, I cannot even believe that those words are coming out of my mouth. The summer went by so fast, but today we're going to talk about a few tips to help you tame that overwhelm and have a foundation for yourself and your family that will help you moving forward as we go into the fall months and all of the busy-ness that comes after that. All right, stay tuned.

Speaker 2 (00:32):

Welcome to your source for tips, tools, and support to help you be that mom that is tuned in and proactive for yourself, your family, and for the wild ride of raising kids in this digital age, inspired by a mother's love with a relatable real life. Proud to be that mom flair. This is the bead that mom movement with your host, Dolly Denson.

Speaker 3 (00:58):

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Speaker 1 (01:32):

So today's episode will probably be pretty short and sweet, but I just wanted to talk about something in general that I have found super helpful when it comes to being overwhelmed as a mom and especially dealing with all of these digital things that we're always having to deal with. And I think that's a never ending thing, right? Like it just evolves over time where we, we get like a new games released a new social media app is released. A new platform is out there and we've got to figure out what's going on with it. Is it safe? All of those things, right? And so that just adds on to the overwhelm struggle that was already there before all of these digital things came about. So I think taming the overwhelm is so, so very important because when we are living in that space of overwhelm, which I think can be translated into stress, our body stays in a place of kind of a heightened alert system, kind of like a fight or flight type scenario, which would be like someone like an animal that's out in the wild.

Speaker 1 (02:32):

And they are like heightened senses, heightened awareness, ready to run at the, you know, at the first sign of a predator. So it's the same thing. If we are in a place of overwhelm and stress, all of the time we have that heightened awareness heightened senses because we are stressed in because it's causing that hormonal response in our body. And over time that has a drastic negative effect on our body. Eventually our can't handle that. And so it starts going into a cascade of events that will cause health issues that will cause eventually auto-immune disorders and other things that happen as our body wears out, because it cannot stay in, I can't speak because it cannot stay in that state all of the time. So when it comes to us being overwhelmed with all of the things who lead it to raising kids and adding on the layer of the digital things, we have to bring that down.

Speaker 1 (03:28):

So I just want to share with you how I do that, and then also share with you how I view or envision that you can take this to help you with that digital things struggle that we're always talking about. Right? So what helps me, and this is a true struggle for me because I do have, I wear a lot of hats and have a lot of different things going on in my life. So it is hard for me to not stay in that stress state, but I know the effect that it has on the body. And I work with women constantly to create the healthy habits in their healthy routine, because we have to bring ourselves down from that. We have to get to a resting and relaxing state where we're not stressed all of the time. So a few things that I will do for kind of stress reducing routine is first having a morning routine.

Speaker 1 (04:19):

They say that what you do in the first 10 minutes of the day, when you wake up, determines the rest of your day, and what that means is basically what your mindset is when you wake up. So if the first thing that you do is as soon as your feet hit, the floor is open up your phone. Look at your email, look at, you know, do some type of activity that raises your stress level, gets you anxious, you know, get you kind of in a negative mindset that is framing your day for what else is going to go on. Of course it's not an all or nothing thing, but if you can harness those first few minutes of your day to get yourself in a positive mindset, have a routine that helps you to relax, helps you to focus in on the positives of life, be grateful for things then that can set the stage for your day and over time doing this consistently will add up into more positive effects that spread out into other parts of your life.

Speaker 1 (05:17):

Another thing you can do, which can be part of your morning routine, but have a routine for reading something positive, reading something that is for growth. That is for reflection. You can read something that is religious or inspirational, something that gives you pause and helps you to think beyond what you're used to thinking. Also, meditation is another thing that would be the third thing. Even if you don't want to do the physical act of meditation, taking a moment to take a few deep breaths, be purposeful with it, doing something as simple as four counts of taking a breath in four counts of taking a breath out, you know, or breathing out, do that for a total of four minutes. Something to that degree, that is meditation that is calming your mind, giving your focus to your breath and to helping you bring yourself back into your body.

Speaker 1 (06:11):

That makes a difference. And then another thing that would be the 1, 2, 3, 4 thing that I've mentioned is move your body. Exercise gives you feel good hormones. It's important for you to move your body every day. And that doesn't necessarily have to be, although I do highly encourage, you have a workout routine that you're following, but it doesn't necessarily have to be that walking is good for you. Walking is kind of in a resting and digesting state. So walking and listening to, you know, the birds chirp and the wind blow those types of things. If you are in a place where you can walk outside, that's good for you, any movement where you're moving your body, you're moving the muscles, you're getting the lymphatic drainage, moving back to your heart, all of the different things that is good for you. And that brings you down from that stress state.

Speaker 1 (07:02):

The next thing is winding down at night and not taking your electronics to bed with you. I am very, very bad about doing this. It is hard to not do it, but to have a period of time where you are winding down and you are not looking into a screen, they say that actually the effects of the light from the screen actually affects chemical release in our brains. And it hinders us getting into a deep sleep. So it helps if you do have to be on your phone or computer late in the evening to have blue bar, I think they're called blue blocker glasses, but they're glasses basically that block that light. I don't know if I'm using the right terminology, but block that to where that is not stimulating your brain late at night, because that has been found to hinder our sleep and getting into a deeper sleep.

Speaker 1 (07:50):

There's also some screens that you can get like a screen that you can put on your computer that blocks that light. And then you can also, if you have like a, I don't know if the PCs do it, but on my Mac, it's set up to where it blocks that light. If you put it on a certain setting, so it can do it just at night or it can do it all the time, but it does have an effect on our sleep. So just having a routine around when you go to sleep, not staring at your screen, turning it off and going to bed, but actually having a winding down routine where you put it away, maybe stretch, read something, that's inspiring. Write down what you're grateful for. Write down what happened during the day, write down what you know, what great things happened and then go to bed after that.

Speaker 1 (08:34):

Another thing is making sure you get adequate sleep. Sleep is so very powerful for our overall mindset and our health. So, you know, we cannot take care of others unless we're taking care of ourself. So getting adequate sleep, allowing ourselves to get into a deep sleep and not be interrupted by the things that disturb our sleep is important. And then finally your body, the proper hydration, nutrition, hydration, and nutrition. So drinking plenty of water, making sure it is clean. Water is important. This is something that I never really focused on until recently, but now I do. I bought a gravity fed filter that I filter my water with and it's called Aqua rain. A similar filter would be the Berkey filter, but when I read reviews and the details about the different, the Berkey or this one, I decided on the Aqua rain. So it filters out things that can filter rain, water, muddy, water, pool, water, toilet, water, any type of water.

Speaker 1 (09:28):

It can filter it down to be drinkable. There's of course, tons of different filters out there. But just my point is, make sure you have water that is clean because there can be toxins and chemicals in the water. And water is like at the foundation of our health in terms of we don't have clean water, no matter what else you're doing with your body, you're just putting the stuff back into you. If it, you know, is full of chemicals. So definitely something that has not been on my radar until a few months ago, mainly when the winter storm hit Texas and we lost our, we personally lost our water for four or five days. That's when I really started looking into water and how to filter it, clean it and all of that, and ended up buying that Aqua rain filter. And so now we drink that.

Speaker 1 (10:16):

I filter all our water through that and we drink that every day. So proper hydration and nutrition is also important for lowering the stress on your body, bringing down that overwhelm so that you can support yourself. Now, everything that I just said is all things that I am talking about for a foundation for yourself. But when you start focusing on these things for yourself, it will have a trickle down effect to your family. And what I found is when I was at a major place of overwhelm a few years back when I had no routine for my own wellness, I had no idea how to work out effectively. I had no belief in myself that I could work out effectively. I didn't know how to eat. I hardly drank any water. I hit the ground running with sweet tea and drank sweet tea all day long.

Speaker 1 (11:05):

I was expanding beyond belief. None of my clothes fit me. I was miserable in my skin. I was tired all of the time when I was in that place. It was a place of pure survival. When I started making changes for myself and really implementing all of these things, kind of one at a time, it was too much for me to focus on too many changes at once. So I did things in very, very baby steps, but over time, what has happened is those things that I do now that my family has seen me do. And that has seen me make a non- negotiable for myself. Like my exercise time was a non-negotiable like, I don't care if it's upper time, but I'm going to work out now. And then we will do supper. You know, this was when my kids were a little bit older, but me setting up those boundaries around that foundation for myself, had a trickle down effect to my kids.

Speaker 1 (11:55):

And now it's a routine that all of us do. And it was less about me kind of like telling them to do it. It was more about them observing me and then deciding they wanted to implement for themselves. Now, in my case, my kids are in we're a little bit older and I had major mom guilt around not figuring this out sooner because I felt like I had influenced them into the bad habits I say bad, but I don't mean we're all in a place of learning. Great. So sometimes we do something and then we learn how to do it better, and then we do better. Right? So when I see that, I don't say it in a place of judgment, if you aren't in a place where you're doing these things, but I felt like the habits I had taught my kids weren't ideal, but I felt like I hadn't figured this out until they were certain age.

Speaker 1 (12:41):

So I felt so much guilt, so much guilt around that, that I had somehow put them on this path or trajectory of being unhealthy or having these habits that they were going to really struggle to turn around because I hadn't figured this out for myself, but all I could do at the time was focused on me. And you know, the few, little things here, like I quit buying certain things that I didn't really want them to consume at home. You know, quit putting money into certain things that I didn't feel were the best for them. And so I did a little bit of that, but at the same time, they had the means to get their own food, their own snacks, and, you know, went off with their friends and things. And so they would still choose those things that I didn't necessarily want them to have anymore.

Speaker 1 (13:25):

So I was at a point to where it's kind of like, I can have some influence by the things I provide for them at home, but they also kind of were out of my influence to a certain extent. And so I just had to be at peace with that and realize that there's only so much as moms can do. We do the best we can. And if we learn something to do something better than we do better, but the mom guilt got to go. It is what it is. Everything is what it is. And when we learn that and accept that it makes life so much simpler to where we're not living in a place of guilt all the time. So once you start focusing on some of these things, if you're not doing these things yet, I think this will have a trickle down effect to your family now for a different perspective on this think in terms of your child in the draw, the addiction of the digital things.

Speaker 1 (14:17):

And if you have not set boundaries around those things, which is the boundaries of bedtime, where I'm talking to you about, you know, it's best to put your phone away and not have be looking at that. The light of that when it's getting close to bedtime and you know, different things like that, also keep in mind that those things have an influence around our kids. So even if they're teenagers, if like when they were younger and you had control over their bedtime, if they're older, now I know mine got to the point to where it was like bedtime was, was non-existent think back to the time where you controlled their every waking moment and their sleeping time and how you had a routine most likely around when they brush their teeth. When they took a bath, when they combed their hair, when they put their clothes on, when they got in bed, and then you said their prayer, and then they went to sleep, and then you knew when they woke up and then you got them breakfast, and then y'all got their backpack ready for school.

Speaker 1 (15:10):

You put on shoes, they already had clothes on, hopefully, and then you drove them to school, right? Then you pick them up from school. They came home and they did their homework. And then they had some time to play and then y'all ate supper. And then it was time for the bedtime routine again, right. There was a routine there and kids need that routine. And so I think what happens with the teenage years is that they get to where, you know, you just kind of let them do a free for all. And so what they are going to tend to do is stay up really late and not get adequate sleep, do the digital things, right for, they go to bed or all night long and then wake up late. The next day, they've slept part of the day. You're annoyed with them because they've been sleeping all the time.

Speaker 1 (15:51):

They didn't do this, or, or that, that they needed to do around the house. Maybe they had school when they woke up late, you know, all of the things. So my point is they still need a routine. And so if you aren't establishing a routine around their bedtime, around the use of digital things, where they're using the digital things, all of that, that may be a place to start that will reduce the overwhelm for them. They will admit it or not. They are getting overwhelmed too. And they don't know how to manage all of that. So while you focus on establishing a stress, reducing routine for yourself, with those things, I mentioned the morning routine, having some type of reading and reflection meditation, moving your body, exercising winding down time at night, adequate sleep and giving your body proper hydration and nutrition. While you focus on those things, have some sort of implementation of similar things for your kids.

Speaker 1 (16:44):

Just don't tell them you're doing that because then they'll resist it. Right. But just kind of, if you don't already put a routine in place for them that requires them to kind of do similar things, such as putting the phone away at a certain time, putting it in your room at a certain time and having some boundaries around the things that they do. It may not work. It depends on the temperament of the child, but I do think that not having a routine is stressful for them. And so we need to keep in mind that them always being in a high stress state is not good for them to get not good for them either. Even though as younger people and younger bodies, their bodies will compensate for it for a longer period of time than ours will when we get older. Okay. So now that we've chatted all about that, I hope that you will take these tips and use them to tame the overwhelm as we go into a new season, depending on where you are in the world, but going into another period of time where things might get busy, things might get stressful and you need time to take a break.

Speaker 1 (17:48):

And if nothing else take a few moments to do four counts of a deep breath in four counts of a deep breath out and do that for four or five times to bring yourself back down and help you calm down. Okay. All right. So I hope that was helpful for you and I hope things are going smoothly as we roll into a new school year, if that is a new school year for you. All right. Thanks so much for listening in chat with you next time.

Speaker 2 (18:15):

Thanks for tuning in being that mom isn't easy, but together we can be that mom's strong. Don't forget to leave a review, connect on social and join Dolly's free community till next time

Speaker 3 (18:29):

Either. Yeah. Before you go, I want to just give you a heads up on something. When things have been hardest in my role as a mom, the thing that was so very helpful for me was having a routine to take care of myself each day. I know that this whole thing around raising kids in a digital world is so very overwhelming. But if you have a place where you are taking care of yourself every single day with a simple routine that works despite where you are or what your schedule is, you will be able to be more present for your family and handle all of the ups and downs of this most amazing role that we could ever play in this world. So connect with me and let's get you connected to fitness and nutrition tools made by experts that will help you simplify this and then connect you with my fit club community that will support you, guide you and give you momentum and motivation to show up every day, take care of yourself first so that you could be better present for our digital native kids.