Digital Binging: Strategies & warning signs you need to know!

Episode 24

This episode dives into the common struggle of spending extended and uninterrupted time on digital devices. How much time should be allowed at one time? What strategies work best without causing tension between you and your kiddo? What is best for them and their brain development? What warning signs do you need to know if your efforts don't seem to be working? Listen in to learn this and more! 

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FREE downloadable: Balance the Digital Binge Activity Sheet

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Full Transcription:

Speaker 1: (00:00)
Hey there today's episode is going to focus on digital bingeing. What is it? How do we manage it? And how do we move forward? Stay tuned.

Speaker 2: (00:08)
Welcome to your source for tips, tools, and support to help you be that mom that is tuned in and proactive for yourself, your family, and for the wild ride of raising kids in this digital age, inspired by a mother's love with a relatable, real life. Proud to be that mom flair. This is the be that mom movement with your host, Dolly Denson.

Speaker 1: (00:32)
Hey friends, did you hear there is an app that will transform the safety of your kids, smartphone and technology use. It is my favorite way to sleep easy at night and have peace of mind because it is monitoring my kids' activity online without me being in their business. It is the bark app and yes, bark like a dog bark bark bark. It tells you when there's something that you need to be concerned about starting at a small fee each month, you can protect your whole family across all devices. Get connected with bark today. Use code, be that mom for 20% off your subscription for life and get a seven day free trial to check it out. Hey there friends. So today we are going to talk about digital bingeing. It is something that probably most of us are dealing with to some degree either in ourselves or our kids.

Speaker 1: (01:16)
So I want to do a little bit of a focus on this, and I'm going to give you a free download that you can go download with ideas of activities that you can do as an alternative to always being on a device. So we all know that being on devices and our whole digital age is a wonderful thing in many ways. And we cannot negate that fact. We are staying connected in our world right now because we have digital devices. We have entire companies and schools being run through digital devices in order to keep us safe from the pandemic that's going on right now. So we have to be grateful for that, but we also have to be aware of the effects on our children if they are using devices for prolonged periods of time. So digital bingeing is basically when you are on a device or a screen for a prolonged period of time, uninterrupted, this could be watching a show.

Speaker 1: (02:09)
It could be social media, it could be YouTube, it could be playing a game. Any of those things for a prolonged period of time is considered digital bingeing. Now, why is this a concern? Why should we be worried about this at all? Right. I mean, we probably, as kids sat and watched movies for hours on end, if you're my age, you probably played Atari. And the Nintendo, when it first came out and would spend hours on end doing those things. Yes, we did do those things and we didn't have harmful effects for the most part, right? It's the least as far as we know, but today in today's day and age, with so much prevalence of digital things, and then also depending on where you are in the world, right now, we are not getting out and doing, and just mini activities, spending time with family, going to parties, having sporting events, having other outside things that we do.

Speaker 1: (03:00)
So we're spending more time on the screens and what they have found happens when you are on a screen for a prolonged period of time, is there is a physiological effect in the brain. And I know I've mentioned this in other episodes, but I want to specifically focus on the prolonged screen time and the digital bingeing and how that affects things. So when considering a child's brain, you know, as I've mentioned in other episodes that their brain just like the rest of the body is still developing as an adult. It probably doesn't have as dramatic of an effect on us because our brain is fully developed, but it still does have an effect on us. So when time is spent doing something that is instant gratification, such as social media or playing a game, the brain produces a chemical called dopamine. I call it like a happy hormone, right?

Speaker 1: (03:50)
It's basically like your pleasure center, your reward center. So like you eat a piece of chocolate or some, some type of food that you find really enjoyable. It's a dopamine release that creates that an enjoyable sensation. So when you are on games, that is instant gratification, a child gets onto that game and instantly is getting gratification by the activities that they are doing. Whereas if they take the child, take the child and they're going to bake cupcakes, measuring out the ingredients and getting it all mixed up, isn't exactly the same type of gratification. But once the cupcakes go in the oven and are baked and come out, there's gratification there when they eat them, if they enjoy the cookies peek and want to eat it. So that's lead gratification activity. So when you have this instant gratification activity going on for prolonged periods of time, your brain is continually producing dopamine, which over time means that the neuron, the other part of the brain, that the dopamine is attaching to will reduce the number of receptors Thursday.

Speaker 1: (04:56)
It has for the dopamine, because it is around yeah, so much and so prevalent. And so what happens with that is you develop a tolerance and you need more and more and more of that activity in order to get that same type of gratification. And this is the same thing that we see with addiction, any type of addiction. That's why they say that they are, they have now come out with a gaming disorder diagnosis and consider there to be screen addiction and gaming addiction as real disorders, because it is a physiological effect in our brains. So as you do the digital bingeing, you have this residual effect where you develop tolerance and then you have withdrawal when it is taken away. And then that leads to boredom. And if you're not having that instant gratitude, if you're used to the instant gratification, then you're going to go and seek more of the instant gratification.

Speaker 1: (05:50)
And those things that don't provide instant gratification, or just not like desirable enjoyable, don't have the same appeal as sitting on a screen, playing a game. And I think this can apply to adults too, when it comes to things like candy crush, or I used to play angry birds for hours on end. And I haven't played that in years and years and years, but angry birds. I still play candy crush occasionally, but I limit myself to a certain number of hours or not hours. I don't even play it for hours. I may play it for 15 minutes to 30 minutes a day as part of my kind of like winding down time from my day. But it can apply to all of those types of things. It's the instinct gratification versus delayed gratification. So what can we do to handle this basically, what is recommended by experts in this field?

Speaker 1: (06:39)
Psychiatrist and psychologist is to make a list of activities that are low dopamine activities in. It depends on the age of your child. Hi, old as to what this is going to look like, but it can be stuff like arts and crafts making braces. Well, it's making lanyards, having manipulatives like clay, painting, coloring, drawing, things like that. It can be assembly type things like building Legos, who's building rockets or models, having a puzzle that you put together. It can be indoor and backyard activities like an obstacle course, camping, making forts and tents inside reading books, computer skills that are specific for an activity like programming, graphic design, or coding, charity work cooking, just having conversations with family and friends via FaceTime, dancing board games, card games, ping pong, helping with chores and home repairs, puzzles like a Rubik's cube, musical instruments, online classes like martial arts or photography.

Speaker 1: (07:43)
All those things would be considered low dopamine activities. So basically they have some constructive thing to them, but they don't give you that instant gratification. So make a list of those things. And I'm actually going to put a downloadable list of these things in the show notes, too. You can download some ideas for these things and then customize them for yourself. And then second thing is schedule blocks of time. What is recommended is to not do like five hours of screen time. So now you have five hours of low dopamine activities. It is actually better for the brain. If you were doing like an hour of the high dopamine activity and then do an hour of the low dopamine activity. And then the third thing is just to start trying to have them self-regulate. So if they see that they have these blocks of time and they know that this certain game in Fortnite normally takes 40 minutes, they know that if they only have an hour while they better manage that time, because when it gets to an hour, they need to be off and they need to be doing their other activities.

Speaker 1: (08:43)
The fourth thing would be, be to have mealtimes without screens. So that means no phones at the table and turn off TVs and noise and other things that are in the house been face to face time, make sure they know that they are being seen and heard. And then the fifth thing would be to have separate areas of your house for the high dopamine versus lobe dopamine activities, or at least having a separation between the two, like not having them doing their coloring and their drawing or assembling their Legos right in front of the computer where they're high dopamine activity is paused. So creating some type of separate areas. So there's not as much temptation there. So the biggest takeaway from this is you want to have a healthy balance of the two and then be consistent with your guidelines with your blocks of time.

Speaker 1: (09:32)
No, that boredom is okay. It is absolutely okay for them to be bored. The boredom will generate creativity. So you want them to be bored. You want them to not have the option of going to the screen to fill up that boredom, uh, unless they have done the low dopamine activities for the allotted time that you have designated, of course, with older kids, you have to approach this a little bit differently. There needs to be more independence and more self-regulation, but there also needs to be ground rules. If you're too permissive, it's enabling them. And then if you're too strict, it won't help them to self regulate themselves without you present and putting down all of the restrictions for me, myself, with my youngest kiddo, I have found just in the last month or two, that having conversations about what I am learning about these things and letting him know these things about what I'm learning has kind of changed his behavior.

Speaker 1: (10:29)
And I am trying to give him an allowance of like a leeway of self regulation. And I am seeing that he is doing that more. We still have work to do it's a work in progress for sure, but because he is mid teen age, I am trying to give him more of that opportunity to self regulate. If he was younger, I absolutely would have much more strict rules for it. Now, if you feel like you try these strategies and it is not working some of the warning signs or red flags where you might want to seek outside help or professional help would be that if they are not able to function in their normal life and in relation to the screens. So if they are completely neglecting the daily activities of brushing their teeth, getting up to use the bathroom, taking a shower, that would be a concern.

Speaker 1: (11:20)
The other warning signs would be seeking behaviors, such as being aggressive about wanting to play their games, lying about them, sneaking them at night, stealing money in order to buy the different things on the game. These are warning signs. I'm sure there are others, but basically everything I've shared. I want you to use it as a guide side, but please don't hesitate to seek outside help. If you feel like it is necessary, it is not shameful at any point in time to seek the help of a professional who has formal education in area. So absolutely do that for yourself and your family at any time and know that this is definitely something that all of us are enduring. And my goal with this podcast is to be that mom that is helping connect you to real life tips that you can use going forward. And I hope that that is what this podcast is doing for you.

Speaker 1: (12:13)
If you find this helpful, please write me a review. It's very, very easy to write a review. I never realized how easy it was until I launched my own podcast, but that will help me to get this into the ears of more moms out there. So I would really appreciate it if you would do that for me. And then also please join my free community on Facebook. It is a non-judgement zone for you to be that mom and to link arms with other moms. So we can be that mom's strong. And then also please check out the free downloadable I am putting in the show notes for this episode for low dopamine activity ideas for you and your family, and as always go forward and be that mom strong. Thanks so much for tuning in and I'll chat with you next time. So did you hear there is actually a dumb smartphone. It is like the best thing for parents. As we introduce the digital world to our kids, it is created by a dad that wanted to give his child a phone without giving them access to the entire world. No internet, no pictures, no sleazy messages and seriously your kids. Can't fool you with this either. Grab your gab wireless dumb smartphone. Today. I gab wireless.com using code, be that mom for money off to get you started and keep your kids safe.

Speaker 2: (13:28)
Thanks for tuning in being that mom isn't easy, but together we can be that mom's strong. Don't forget to leave a review, connect on social and join Dolly's free community till next time.

Speaker 1: (13:41)
So before you go check this out, if you are a mom that is listening to this podcast, you are wanting to keep your kids safe in the digital world. But let me tell you what is so very powerful and what helped me so so much when things got really tough in my parenting of the digital natives world, I already had a routine of taking care of myself every day with not only the simple things like drinking more water and getting enough sleep most of the time anyway, but I also had a routine of exercise in a routine of fueling my body with good nutrition, with guaranteed nutrition, through a smoothie, with tools that helped me during my workouts and this routine. It sounds silly that it could help so much, but it did help me so much when I was gutted by the challenges of raising kids in this digital age, it helped me have a safe place.

Speaker 1: (14:32)
It helped me have a strength that I otherwise would not have mentally and spiritually and physically. And then it also on a day to day basis helps me to be more present for the kids because I'm more present for myself. First, if you do not have this in your life, I want to connect you with this. I want to simplify this for you, connect with me and I will connect you with tools that work for anyone that simplify everything around and exercising and eating and making this a habit that sticks. And that will be in example for your kids and your family. Connect with me, we'll have a discovery session. We'll figure out which options will work best for you. And then I will connect you with my online computer to help support you as you get started and to help you keep up the motivation and the momentum to make this a little lifestyle switch that lasts forever. So connect with me today.